Primetime Sublime*

Smallville 04/23/09

2009-04-28T15:01:00.001-07:00

Another episode where a whole lot of nothing happened. Well, in the sense of Clark actually becoming the superman we know and love. Instead, we got to see Lois in a tight leather cat suit and heels strike racy poses in a dark alley. So, I guess if you are a 12 year old boy. This episode made enormous progress.

Hell's Kitchen 4/23/09

2009-04-28T14:59:00.001-07:00

Ramsey’s F-o-meter is up to 19 and his yes-o-meter is off the charts! Each episode gets built up to be this huge surprise, something we won’t forget. Well, lets take a look at what happened. There was some yelling, some cooking, some cleaning, some fighting and then, the surprise happened! Ramsey said the F word a few times, then sent someone home. Wait, where was the surprise?

The Office 4/23/09

2009-04-28T14:57:00.001-07:00

Because the Michael Scott Paper Company is charging such low prices, it ends up putting them out of business and ironically making them more money in the long run. It has to be a kick in the pants for David Wallace to know that MICHAEL is giving him a run for his money, especially when the only compliment he could give him was, “he’s a nice guy.” To think that a returned phone call and a party with an “anti-gravity’ machine could have saved him 60 thousand dollars. Ultimately that is what Michael, Pam and Ryan got in the end along with their old jobs back. Wallace, thought that was a good price to pay for a bankrupt company. With those decision skills, I can see why they pay him the big bucks. At least, everything is back to normal. With the exception that Pam returned to Dunder Mifflin as a sales rep instead of receptionist. As long as Dwight leaves his case solving skills to the that of the Raccoon Bandit, and doesn’t find out Jim knew Michael's paper company was broke all a long, we should be back to office shenanigans by the next episode.

Grey's 4/16/09

2009-04-28T14:52:00.000-07:00

Yay, we finally got an episode. With the engagement of Meredith and Derrick, Izzy takes on the job of being Meredith’s wedding planner. Of course, Meredith can’t say no because Izzy is dying from cancer, and whose that heartless? Oh, I know…. Denny, but that’s old news. Basically, this episode was filled with fighting, yelling then reconciliation. In the end it was a Barney take home message, fighting doesn’t solve anything and friends are important. Except for the part where Callie turned down a huge trust fund to continue her path as a lesbian. Now, that’s a message Barney never would have approved of….. or would he?

Grey's Anatomy & Desperate Housewives

2009-04-14T21:52:00.000-07:00

Have you ever watched someone else eat something that you were craving? It’s like your sitting there, watching them stuff their mouth with something so delicious, wishing and hoping that you could have just a small morsel. Your mouth is watering and you know at any given second you would give your right jugular to have just a taste. Then the heavens open and they offer you the smallest bite. Then when you done, your craving it even worse, you know you won’t get another bite, and your cursing yourself for even eating it because now that’s all you’ll want the rest of the day!! Well in a nutshell, that’s what Grey’s and Desperate Housewives did do us. It’s been weeks since we saw Edie drive into a pole and be electrocuted, since we saw Derrick propose to Meredith and Izzy get treatment for deathly cancer. What the H-E double hockey sticks! What kind of a world are we living in? That’s the sort of thing that causes a hernia. You either do a follow up soon, or don’t even bother showing us anything at all.

Lost 04/08/09

2009-04-14T21:49:00.001-07:00

I know I’m no wiz with time travel these days, I mean who is, but I think that they have weaved their way into a deep hole. There are a lot of inconsistencies, and I know Hurly would have my back. However, I won’t jump to conclusions because I know the smoke monster will clear it up next time, that is if he doesn’t turn into my daughter and choke me to death.

P.S. Even that doesn’t worry me, because if I die, all I need to do is gather some friends, put on a pair of dead man’s shoes, hop on a plane… and whala I’m eating coconuts again.

American Idol 4/13/09

2009-04-14T20:56:00.000-07:00

Some one needs to get the producers a watch! This was the second time in a row that the show ran over. At least Lil Rounds was the one to get cut off tonight, she is definitely struggling. The sad part was she thought she nailed it! Leave it to Simon to crush her hopes and dreams. The one thing that gets better each week is her hair. Each episode it has grown a few inches, whatever she’s taking we need to give some to Simon… that man’s hair needs some TLC. Other than that I think everyone did extremely well. Adam’s version of Born to Be Wild rocked the house… the pictures of him kissing dudes, not so much. Allison’s was given the compliment of being red hot. I’m still not sure if they were talking about her singing or her hair. Kris in my eyes can do no wrong, he could sing off pitch the whole song, the only thing I’m paying attention to is his face. Danny, Matt and Anoop-dog? If you tivo-d any of the previous episodes, you have already seen it.

Sorry!

2009-02-20T14:35:00.000-08:00

Sorry, I haven’t posted for a while. There just aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done. However, if you are going crazy because you are so behind, like me. There are a few other places to get your TV updates. Try these bad boys out: Television Without Pity , TVSquad , Metacritic, but don’t get too comfortable. One day I will get back on top of it!

The Office 2/01/09

2009-01-30T13:21:00.000-08:00

Dwight has obviously never seen any Smokey the Bear commercials. We can assume that after this episode, Smokey might try a different approach, "Only you can prevent office fires". Luckily, the only person that got burned was Michael. With the help of Stanley's failing heart and a stress detector, Michael realized his #1 boss mug had been lying to him all along. So, he did what any intelligent man would do... let his employees make fun of him. What did we learn from the Roast of Michael Scott? He does a little worse than ok on the drums and apparently has a small wee wee. I think the only one who should be more embarrassed than him is Jack Black, those kissing scenes put Brokeback Mountain to shame. My retinas have been scarred!

Grey's Anatomy 1/22/09

2009-01-30T12:58:00.000-08:00

It's almost crossing over into OC territory. If you pile all the drama in at the beginning, you are going to run out of material. Which they did about one season ago. But hey, I guess when you have thought-full serial killers, broken wieners and sex with ghosts, it's hard to put the remote down. I for some reason have the same problem. I'm just glad the little boy got his organs in time or I would have to put my foot down. Lets just hope Katherine Heigl doesn't complain again about not getting good material, or next season she might be sleeping with animals.

Lost 2/04/09

2009-01-30T12:47:00.001-08:00

I'm definitely lost in Lost! Could they make it any more confusing. It's funny, one of the writers actually said this season would leave you with more answers than questions. Was he on crack? I have never been more confuzzled in my life. I mean sure, teleporting islands, giant smoke creatures, time-travel, this can all be understood. But explain to me how Hurley has been eating nothing but coconuts for the last 3 years and is even fatter now than he was in the first season? They need to draw the line somewhere.

Hell's Kitchen 1/29/09

2009-01-30T12:28:00.001-08:00

The season premiere, and already Ramsay's F@$$-Meter is at 26! We should keep track of his "yes", I think it would be a bigger number. This is suppose to be the best season ever, which shouldn't be to hard to beat. They actually found even less intelligent contestants. Where do they find these people? The sad part is they will leave the show even less intelligent, with the addition of post traumatic stress. They should never have quit their day jobs. However, they all seem to cook better than previous seasons, minus the Corporate Buffet Chef, she just got in on account of her good looks. My favorite is the cooking instructor, Carol? She is going to be a valuable asset in the drama department later... "I also teach manners chef", man did she have some balls!

Smallville 1/22/09

2009-01-30T12:13:00.001-08:00

I'll be coy about this, when is Lana going to die!? I think we have had enough. Especially now that she has a really bad woman's mullet. It was exciting when she got powers back in the day, so her and Clark could actually hit the hay... wow did that rhyme. However, this time it was borderline pathetic. They had such a good storyline going, we were actually making progress. However, in the world of Smallville it's always one step forward and three steps back. Alas, as long as Tom Welling is on the screen, I'll take it! Break me off a piece of that!

Fringe 2/02/09

2009-01-30T12:00:00.001-08:00

So here they are, on a plane about to crash, burn and die. Their lives probably flashing before their eyes. They have never been so close to death. Intense thoughts are racing through their minds, nothing can top this moment-until the man standing next to them transforms into a porcupine monster. I didn't see that one coming! I mean seriously a porcupine? Couldn't they give the man a small ounce of dignity, and turn him into some sort of lion or barracuda? These episodes just keep getting more weird, but that's the beauty of television, if they didn't jump on the porcupine idea now, someone would have stolen it later.

Desperate Housewives 1/18/09 "100th Episode"

2009-01-30T11:44:00.001-08:00

"Eli Scruggs. His customers would tell you there's nothing he couldn't fix, whether a broken vase, a leaky pipe, or a shaky banister. But sadly, this Wisteria fixer is about to break their hearts."

He definitely broke my heart! I don't know if it's just because I switched birth controls, and am a little hormonal (TMI), but this episode made me cry!! He was the cutest, little old man you ever did see. Until, the whole Eddie sex scene. That image will haunt my dreams. Although it was tender to see the impact the handyman had in everyone's life. This had to be the most random episode in the history of random episodes. It had many blasts from the pasts with that had little to do with anything. I guess since it was the 100th episode they wanted to pay some sort of tribute to Mary Alice and kinda recap. Anywhoo, it did pull on the old heart sting and actually had a take home message... be nice to everyone you know, because you never know when they are going to kill themselves.

24 2/02/09

2009-01-30T11:21:00.000-08:00

This was one of those episodes that accomplished so much without really accomplishing anything, you feel me? Even though Dubaku was stopped, 30 thousand, no wait, 29,999 people were saved, the CIP device was destroyed and the Prime Minister and his wife were rescued, all the bad guys still got away, and now, have even better leverage to control the president with.... her husband. Take note that all this happened in the same amount of time it took me to go shopping at Wal-Mart today. Those lines are out of control! Some other interesting things we learned from this episode were: if there were to be a female president, her husband would be called "The First Gentleman", that's a kick in the balls. Also, did anyone notice the guy who runs the chemical plant, is the dad from My So-Called Life, and he's also trying to steal Aaron away from Kate on Lost. The dude is a TV whore!

AMERICAN IDOL 2/ 3rd-4th/09

2009-01-30T10:44:00.000-08:00

Music is dead! The one week a year that gives drama a new name…."Hollywood Week. I guess crossing my fingers worked, we got a cat fight! However, not between Paula and Kara. This episode was all about the "divas"-total deja vu of my senior year of High School, and probably yours-. Anytime you put a bunch girls together that don't know each other, the estrogen takes over like a drug, and they are all start calling each other “fake beotches” behind their backs. It's in our nature. As usual, this episode of the show featured the least music of any on Idol's schedule. A full half-hour passed before the first note was sung, with most of the time spent on petty squabbles between temporary teammates. Once the performances started, it was clear that the drama was far more entertaining. Sadly, some of the most interesting ones went home, while some of the more annoying ones stayed. Check out Tatiana’s acceptance speech and Nathaniel’s girly freak-out below....

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